Wednesday, November 5, 2008

My letter to America

Dear America,

I apologize sincerely for not writing sooner and I regret the circumstances in which I do so now. I know your family has fallen victim to unfortunate circumstances before but this one might be the most painful for you and all your relatives. Your fall to communism will be a resounding thud heard by all nations and felt by your family with the pain of a thousand knives in the gut. I know you may never fully recover but your bloodlines are strong. My family will pray for yours.

Rumor has it that the elderly in your family have been ill for some time and have taken a turn for the worst. Please send my best wishes for a full recovery to Democracy and Capitalism. Scientists have not yet found a cure for the Liberalism Disease that infects them but they are working night and day on it. The Conservative family has been dedicated in the search for the cure, particularly Mr. Conservative who has been working night and day both with people and prayer. He sends his love to your family. Sadly, Dr. Republican in the Washington Research Center says this new strain of Liberalism is stronger than the strains discovered in the 70s, originating somewhere in California and is proving to be much stronger, more violent, more aggressive and even deadly in some cases. Democracy and Capitalism will stay in my prayers in hopes that God will have mercy on them and help them heal.

How big your children must be! Life and Liberty have made a wonderful reputation for themselves. I was so proud of your family when reading about them in my high school history books. Life has done amazing things along with her friend Opportunity—what a dear one she is. There are whole sections in the books describing their amazing work with your family including the free market, inventions, space travel, art, music, etc. I was most happy to read of her accomplishment of introducing our founding fathers to the well respected family of Mr. and Mrs. Pursuit-of-Happiness. However, it deeply saddens me to hear about Life’s work being destroyed. I wish to understand better why the Libtards are set on aborting her project with infants and children. Please pass along my blessings to Life. I pray she gets stronger and receives the respect she deserves.

Liberty is my hero—please tell him that next time you see him! Perhaps Liberty has been mentioned most of all in the books with his noble deeds of freeing your family of the tyrannical rule of England, the blacks from slavery, women from oppression, and barriers of those who are different physically and mentally. Liberty has allowed us the ability to enjoy the fruits of our labor and shown us the wonders of the constitution. America, I was heartbroken to hear your son has a warrant for his arrest. I heard the Independence family has been interrogated for aiding his escape but I won’t ask for details lest your return letter is intercepted by the communist army. In speaking with the Conservative and Republican families, we’ve agreed to hold off our own fight to save your son to see if your family can overturn the warrant. But at any moment your family needs us, our families will be ready to fight for you.

America, I want you to know that even thought the Leftist-Extremist mafia family has been harassing your family, hurting your pets and property, and stealing your identity and ruining your credit, We The People are here for you through the times of turbulence as well as the times of smooth sailing. God blessed your children and elderly 250 years ago and He will protect them now; this is a time for learning and there is no one better to teach than the strong ones.

Again I must beg for your forgiveness for the lack of respect I have shown your family in not writing sooner. I greatly apologize for my actions portraying a disgraceful citizen and hope to redeem myself in helping your family out in the future. Please accept my deepest sympathies for your fall, not as pity, but as my most profound admiration for your ability to handle such anguish in a respectful and tactful way; I am unsure if I could be as resilient as you.

Stay strong America, your freedom shall return; the brave are ready. May God bless you a thousand times over.

Most sincerely with respect,

Tara Babcock


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